Monday, May 08, 2006

A sticky situation

Perhaps the one huge advantage female masturbators have is the lack of semen after they masturbate. It can be a blessing, or a distinct problem.

For me, the huge payoff after a long and very enjoyable wank is the forceful and well volumed load that is produced. Afterwards, you look down and see a decently sized puddle of warm sticky goo, it is satisfying. There was some distance, and quite a few contractions, it felt great. I've got all the time in the world to catch my breath, grap some toilet paper and clean up. I can then get on with the rest of my day at leisure.

But more often that not, that bastard enemy of the masturbator, "time" is there to thwart your plans. Be it someone else coming home in 20 minutes, or having to be somewhere real soon, it always seems to spring up, just at the time your dick is hard and your mind is preoccupied with the latest Kyla Cole set you downloaded.

So, where can you blow your load, to beat this menace?

The favored, and ultimate quickie is the toilet. No mess, unless you underestimate the force and you plaster the lid with manjam. I have snuck off to the toilet for many quickies. Some notes, you need to be quick, quiet and semi believable. If you have air freshener in there, give it a spray. The shower also fits in here, even easier, but you shower a lot less than you sit on the throne.

A desk is also not a bad place, if you can get a clear enough space. Clean up is easy, but depending on how things are set up might not be the best.

Of course the classic, tissues are fine.

I, very occasionally blow a wad in my underpants, usually when I feel like something a little different. I am sort of paranoid about any smell though, and since my sense of smell is poor I am very unaware of most smells. But the silkiness of cum swirling around your cock is great.

Every now and then, I'll print off a picture of whatever porn star has really caught my eye, and ejaculate all over that.

One must also not forget the oral option: eating it. I have only tried my cum once, and I can't say I was over the moon about it, but I'm sure someone out there loves the idea and it just extends the fun.

I cannot speak for females, but a friend once told me after having a few too many that she was able to stimulate her clit just by crossing her legs and moving them a bit, and used to pass the time home on the bus a lot more enjoyably. It makes me envious it does!

But by far and away, the best is all over your chest. Feeling the warm splatter of semen, the pool forming, the remnant drops slide away, it's allll good. If situations are right, it can be nice to just have a nap like that, naked and free. When you wake up the cum has dried, the refactory period is over (that bloody thing!), so you may as well have another crack at it ;)

10 comments:

Richard Lovel said...

Great post. I blogged this to ONANIA � The Journal of Chronic Masturbation: Wank Log: A sticky situation

However, I have two problems with "If situations are right, it can be nice to just have a nap like that, naked and free. When you wake up the cum has dried, the refactory period is over (that bloody thing!), so you may as well have another crack at it ;)" ONE: dried semen is itchy. TWO: you are likely to into an endless loop: wank, spurt, sleep; wank, spurt, sleep; ...

Moe said...

That's just what my life has become.... wank, spurt, sleep...wank, spurt, sleep...... wank, spurt, sleep.........

righthandedanie said...

hmm.. I just wrote a post about the time thing.

Anonymous said...

yes, having the time is important consideration for masturbating. if i have don't have the time, i won't bother starting. i love doing IT first thing in the morning for just that reason.

and as for our creamy deposits, oh well... it comes with the, um, sport. but you've gotta love those contractions though, each and everyone one of 'em. (pleasure, spurt, pleasure....)

Bart said...

I love the feel of my cum on my body, so the sticker the better. Often, I smear it all over my body after I spurt. I love rubbing it on the head of my cock and on my balls. Ocassionally, I lube my asshole. Usually, this act makes me so hard I need to jerk off again.

The best, though, is when I jerk off at work. I love getting myself off while sitting at my desk and stimulating myself through my pants. Cumming when people are sitting mere inches away is an amazing feeling. Even better is feeling the cum soak into my underwear and puddle around my balls.

I never worry about the smell either. Although, later in the day, when I open my pants to take a piss, the funkiness I smell is kind of cool.

Any one else like to jerk off at work?

Miss Knees said...

I have to admit, I do love being a girl and not having to deal with the cleanup. Sure, I do it at work all the time and no one needs to know about it as long as I wash my hands. That being said, I loved this post. I never thought I'd find the idea of having cum all over me so exciting. Now I have a craving.

Richard Longhurst said...

Toilet, tissue, underpants... You could always try what we (in England) call a 'posh wank' and knock one out into a condom. [Gratuitous plug: we're giving away 10,000]. :-)

Anonymous said...

ah not few issues with other blog landers:
no names no pack drills but...

"Perhaps the one huge advantage female masturbators have is the lack of semen after they masturbate. It can be a blessing, or a distinct problem.

For me, the huge payoff after a long and very enjoyable wank is the forceful and well volumed load that is produced. Afterwards, you look down and see a decently sized puddle of warm sticky goo"

what i dont?
i mean i've seen a few puddles in my time.

"I am sort of paranoid about any smell though, and since my sense of smell is poor I am very unaware of most smells."

try being a gurl.
i only have to sit at the computer and enter a chat room or look at a porno site to make a sweet smell and puddle.

"I cannot speak for females, but a friend once told me after having a few too many that she was able to stimulate her clit just by crossing her legs and moving them a bit, and used to pass the time home on the bus a lot more enjoyably. It makes me envious it does!"

its true baby.

its me:
http://sharonthroatfuk.blogeasy.com/

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