Thursday, December 27, 2007

Sleeping Naked III

Sleeping naked is the saga that just doesn't end, I know. But, compared to the last time I wrote about this, things are going a lot better.

I have managed to get over the possibility of being walked in on. Hooray for small mercies! For around 5 weeks now I have slept naked every night, except some exceptionally cold nights for this time of year, a few times I forgot and the times I jerked off.

I don't think I will count the cold nights as failures, just doesn't seem fair. Despite wanting to sleep naked, clothes serve a great purpose as regulators of temperature. Plus, the times I forgot, well sometimes it happens.

I think I've done well. And it is significantly more comfortable.

But there was one last category there, after masturbating. This hangup still exists. After waking up a week ago and seeing two lovely splotches of dried cum on my boxer shorts I got all nervous about the idea - again. However, boxer shorts are easy, you just stuff them in the wash, they come out clean and no one is the wiser. They are small, "bundleable", good for covert washing. Sheets are not so covert. Big splotchy stains of jizz are not the greatest thing to have there.

But to change this, I will need to change an aspect of my behavior. Afterwards, I tend to feel relatively placid, relaxed but unfortunately feel a little guilty about the amount of time I spent. Time I "should have been doing something important", well up until this point, thesis stuff. I am also somewhat a twoface in this regard. I have incredibly liberal views on many things, but I would say I had a fairly conservative upbringing. I tend to have days of being one or the other. Do other people have this? I think afterwards, the conservative wanklogger becomes a little more prevalent and I tend to get my pants on quickly and get on with it.

For interest sake, I used to be very conservative. Those politicians of the world labelled neo-cons and ultra-right wing, that was my leaning. Something along the way happened, and all that has changed. But my conservative mindset, being that work is its own reward and the be-all-and-end-all of living sometimes forms my way of thinking.

I much prefer my liberal side, it is just more fun!

What I need to do is hold off the clean up for a little while, to squeeze out the last few drops. Thereby ensuring splotchy cum residue is not a problem. Interestingly, I think this will be a little more than just that. I have to let my more conservative side become less dominant. I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Chloƫ Sevigny

I did this photo a while ago, before I did the before photos. I think it is sort of artful :P


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Sugasm #111

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #112? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Fighting The Dominatrix Stereotype
“She wanted a man for a boyfriend, not a doormat.”

From afar
“Say my name, over and over.”

Steely Dan*
“My body is flexed, and held in place, and the onslaught is relentless.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Pic(k) of the Day

Editor’s Choice
A Brief History of (My) Fucking

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Catalina loves the Best of
Dirty (A Fantasy)
Following dreams part 2
In-Car Entertainment - EastEnders vs Cake
“Life is a bowl full of cherries”
Lines In The Sand
Lunch Date
Raw Pussy
A safe-harbor fuck for the holidays
Skin on Skin
Tingle Belle
“We”….(the final Part)

NSFW Pics & Videos
Cock Size
Do whatever you want, but…
Happy Holidays From HotMovies
Julie Ordon

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Headshot - Blue Artichoke Films
Interview with Jill Eisenstadt about wedding night sex
Sex Toy Review: Hitachi Magic Wand
Slave Bells Ring, Are You Listening? XXX-Mas Looms.

BDSM & Fetish
Bad Girl II
Blood Red Saturday Night
Control and Letting Go - The Wife
Long Distance Scenes
My Delicious Fetish

Sex Work
Sex Worker Solidarity: Dallas From Babeland

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
All About “Squirting” (Female Ejaculation)
Good Sex Hunting
One year on
Three Christmas Wishes
Was she turned on?
Yikes, Groupies!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

One year on

Around this time last year I wrote this post. On the one hand I could say that things haven't changed much. I still feel a little lonely this time of year, and this year is no different in that regard. I don't have any significant other for the coupley type stuff. A friend says I don't want that, but it's easy for him to say when he has tried it, and hypocritically lives with his girlfriend.

Each year I ask a few women out. For me this constitute a fairly high percentage of the women I meet each year - just because I meet so few. I hope once I move out of university life and into working life my social circle will expand.

I should explain something though. When writing last year's post I was quite sad. Really sad. It had got to me a lot more than usual. This year, it all doesn't seem so monolithic and disheartening. Which I am glad about, I felt pretty shitty last year.

So what changed?

Several things, no single thing did it, but it was a combination of all.

I was given more responsibility this year
Writing a thesis is tough. It's a mountain of work, and at the start of the year you are plagued with self-doubt. Self-doubt to a degree I've never experienced, I thought I was swimming in the deep end. With sharks. With teeth made of dynamite.

But I pressed on.

I worked on it, and in the end finished it well enough to pick up an award from a private company and the highest possible mark I could.

I learnt tons of stuff in my area of research, research methods, philosophical arguments about research and advanced concepts in my area of interest. All good stuff. But the one thing I value above all else was that I learnt if I put my mind and effort into something, I can do it. Which is a huge confidence booster. Presenting the findings of your research to a room full of academics, people who seem tuned to finding holes in research is a gut wrencher. But pulling it off puts you on cloud 9.

Attitude change
I avoid risk. I like situations I understand, situations I can control. Control leads to measurement, consistent measurement leads to a basis for comparison. I am a positivist at heart! Works for experiments, doesn't work so well on people.

I tried to care less about the consequences of my actions and to occasionally venture a bit further than I would. It worked, more often than not. The world didn't fall apart if I took a risk! Hooray! During the year I consulted my university's counselling program, to see if they could offer any advice on another issue I had/have/having. My counsellor told me to peg my happiness on things I can control and not things I have no control over.

Good advice. So good and simple I felt like a twit for not thinking of it sooner. It has helped.

Physical changes
I can't shy away from the correlation between my weight loss and

  • confidence
  • mental state
  • wanking
I don't notice it that much, because I've seen every ounce drop off me. So for me, I always look much the same. But the look on people's faces who haven't seen me in a long time always reminds me - what I have done, most people fail at. Big booster.

As for the wanking - this one was unexpected. A few months back I was in the shower. Things were getting a bit hairy, so I got out the razor and cleaned up. Drying myself, my cock felt different. Peculiar and ignored. I scurried over to my bedroom and did the usual night time things. I switched off the light and felt immediately horny, a bit Pavlovian really. Nope, my cock definitely felt different that night. The following day, the same. I finally figured it out. The weight loss had been so dramatic, that the bulge that formed my pubes was residing, and still is. All told, I "gained" about an inch.

The big one I was upset about last year.

Well, I found a fix for my problem. I look forward to revisiting the brothel in the new year.

This year has been good. I am the happiest in years, I feel confident in my actual abilities. I think this is helping me socially. Like I said, I am an only child and I think my nature led to me not being as socialized as I could have been when younger.

However, I made this year the year of discipline. I decided I would

  • Work hard at university, harder than ever before
  • Get serious about fixing myself physically
  • Deal with some inner "demons"

I think I did all 3!

I know this post has very little to do with wanking, in fact nothing to do with wanking. It's easier to face problems with people who don't know you, thank you for reading, have a good Christmas/New Year! I will be continuing in 2008.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Kyla Cole Mega Post!

For me, Kyla Cole is like Alley Baggett. I can always turn to her for some enjoyment. And enjoy I did!

Sugasm #109

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #110? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Body Image In Art, Porn & Media
“Imposing it upon myself, or accepting that someone else has the right to impose it upon me, is something I can refuse to do.”

The Importance of Getting Tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections
“I am taking care of myself. I wish they would do the same.”

When Natural Doesn’t Feel Natural at All
“I’d kept mine neatly trimmed for so long, then cleanly shaved, that I couldn’t remember what I look like in full and natural form.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Pic(k) of the Day

Editor’s Choice
Darkroom Fantasy

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
A Blow By Blow Lesson
The Butch/Femme Tango
CyberGirl and I last night…
Endless to everlasting
Happy Birthday
I told her of my blog
Making love, man to man
MILF Barbie
Confessions: My First Blowjob
The Other Side Of The Table - Part 4

NSFW Pics & Videos & Audio
Ekaterina (Hegre)
HNT: Downblouse/Upskirt Tease
Kimberley Franklin - White High Heels
Shay Laren dancing topless

Sex History
Antique Tommy Also Came

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
“The Dinner Party”
Dipping My Toes In Foreign Waters - Polyamory
World AIDS Day

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Catalina loves XXXmas Shopping
The Cone
From Object to Subject
Memphis Monroe HotMovies Interview
My reason
NEW Blogging Designs!
Sexy’s New Holiday Center & Erotica Contest - Win $25.00!

Sex Poetry
The Crescendo
Half-Nekkid Haiku

BDSM & Fetish
Blow-up dolls
An Erotic Picnic
Goody Fellatrix
I’m TOO submissive
My Play Piercing Video
Soulmates Reunited
Tale of a Shoe Fucking Piss Slut
Webcamming, Bondage, and Amateur Porn…

Friday, December 07, 2007

4 Lesbians

I have no idea who they are. But there are 4 of them, and something missing from their photo set :P


Thursday, December 06, 2007

MILF Barbie

I work in a flea market. An upscale sort of a flea market, but it's a flea market nonetheless. I work a night shift there, and spend most of my time reading or goofing around with the guy in the opposite shop. For what I actually do, it pays well.

A few weeks ago, it was particularly dull. No one was buying anything, and the guy across from me was ill, so I had very little to actually do. Passing the time, I was just doodling on a pad.

Then I saw Barbie. Well, MILF Barbie with a bit too much of a tan. But, this is certainly no place to be picky.

She was wearing a pink midriff sleeveless top holding 2 large tits with protruding nipples, very blonde hair, but the best part was the barely covering pink skirt. It went maybe 2.5-3 inches below her pussy.

In an area that usually has people wearing track pants, this was perhaps one of the best things I've seen in a long time. Thankfully, my store is usually quiet, so I didn't have irritating customers disrupting my mental undressing time.

The focus of my attention was her skirt. That thing was so flimsy and high that it just had to reveal something. The material it was made from was so light, it flapped upwards a little with each step. But the flap was just not enough to see.

I wondered if she wore panties, thong...nothing? Or was she anatomically neutral, like the actual dolls? I really wanted to know.

I watched her intently, but she had obviously worn this skirt before because she expertly avoided all possible chances for someone to look. She was pro at avoiding the optimistic voyeur.

She figured out what she wanted to buy, and was fiddling with her purse to extract the right amount of cash, when a few coins lurched out and gravity did the rest. She bent over and made my night instantly better.

She wore a small thong (not unsurprising to see it was pink) and had a beautifully toned ass. My cock stirred. But my shift ended in 1h27m. I then had a half hour drive home. Once there it was dinner time. Crap!

That time could not have gone soon enough. Last minute customer delaying the close, traffic on the way home, dinner was not a simple wolf-it-down type. But thankfully, my brain seems to have DVR type functions for this sort of stuff. It was like it hit pause and turned the TV off. So when the TV is turned back on, it's all good to go again.

Everything was done, I was showered and the TV had been switched back on. The images of a few hours ago flooded back and my cock was hard once again.

Stroking away, I wonder if she did it on purpose or was completely unaware. Or was it even pre-meditated. Did she specifically pick those clothes because they offer this opportunity. If it was, did she like the idea of knowing that across the vast expanse of suburbia, horny guys were thinking of her? Was she even an exhibitionist, doing it all for herself?

It wasn't long before I could feel everything tighten up. When I lie on my back, my cock tends to fall towards my chest. I tend to hold it at a similar angle. So all the jizz tends to squirt out onto my chest of pubes. I keep trying to angle my dick at more of a right angle to see what would happen. I usually fail because angles, and especially right angles are usually the last things you think of as "the edge" approaches.

This night I was pretty spot on. The first stream of jizz shot about 8 inches straight up, the second about 6 and the rest over my chest (it seems angles are just no concern during orgasm).

Thank you Barbie!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

A Crush

I have a crush on someone. I rarely entertain crushes because I have a 100% failure rate and they tend to somewhat crush me in the process.

Last week was my final exam, ever. My university days are over and I have a nice slice of time where I have nothing at all planned. I am not looking for work right away, my lack of working experience deems me starting off right down the bottom - I'm not in a huge hurry to begin either :).

It is with no surprise that I was in high spirits whilst walking the dog. We went to the park, the dog ran around, I threw his ball for him and savoured the sweet taste of freedom.

In the distance I saw a girl walking her dog, which seemed fairly puppy-like and mischievous. I think nothing more of it. Occasionally I check the proximity to see if her dog will take off after my dog and I have to step in. But no, she walks off and a few minutes later, my dog has had enough and we head home.

Our paths cross again not far away, I took the direct route through the park and she took the looping pathway.

As I approach I decide to try and have a conversation. I am in unusually high spirits and my confidence is doing ok these days. Even if for the chance to meet another local dog owner.

I can talk to almost anyone. Which surprises me, because for years I was not talkative, period. I don't go so well with women I am attracted to though. I tend to become absorbed in what I am doing, which means what I am doing loses traction and then it all falls apart.

So, given that, I had what I could reasonably describe as the best ever conversation with someone I am attracted to.

She laughed at my jokes, actually participated in the conversation (I usually feel like I am interrogating someone, it is off putting). All of this went on for about 15 minutes. She left with a handshake and I found out her name.

If I see her again, I think I will do one of the few things that truly scares me - try to ask her out.