Monday, May 22, 2006

Busted!

When you share the space you live in, it is inevitable that you might be caught. When I was growing up I was ever mindful of the fact and went into almost James Bond mode before a wank. Looking back at it, I don't think my parents would have really cared if they caught me, we are not religious or anything, but I still didn't really like the idea. Even if they caught me nowadays I still don't think they would care. Probably a bit of embarrassment from both of us and then the way everything is handled in our family: it is never brought up again.

However, just because I have never been caught (as in trousers at my ankles, hand on my dick, porn all over the place) doesn't mean I haven't had my share of close calls.

But first a little history.

Back when I started my masturbation career, I was having a jerk whenever possible. This soon became quite unwieldly, it looks pretty suspicious going to the toilet all those times and taking a longer than usual time in there. Looking back it was so obvious!

For a while I blew my load in a handkerchief which I kept separated from everything else. I don't know how, but one day it sort of got in the wash and afterwards came back to my room not so soft and fluffy as handkerchiefs usually are after a wash. Again, so fucking obvious I should have been hit over the head!

Then I wisened up. No more overt signs. I converted to using tissues or toilet paper. I would keep an ear out. I think military commanders would have been impressed with the steps I undertook to allow for my plausible deniability. "Yes, that's right, I need this box of tissues because I have a runny nose, sniff sniff". Looking back, it was pretty weak as well, but it was a lot better.

But there have been a few close calls over the years.

Something that has happened too many times has been mid way through a wank and I hear someone come home. Then the mad dash to hide the porn, zip up and make it look as though I had not just been intruded upon.

Taking that to the next extreme was hearing someone come home just as I was ejaculating. Even more of a mad rush. Have to clean up, and do all that other crap.

While sharing computers in this house, the hiding of porn was an impossible task. People searching for "*.jpg" because they could not remember the file name. "*.mpg" because they misplaced that funny video they downloaded. That fucking sucked the big one. With individual computers now in the house, this problem has disappeared. And thank god for that, porn is awesome.

Owing to the general lack of standards with those short 15-20 second movie clips on the internet, the sound can vary a huge degree. From almost 100% volume to get a whisper, to where you can hear it so clearly with the volume real low. A few situations of;

ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhh....OHH OHH OHHHHHH

have gone by. Thankfully I managed to obtain better porn or just use headphones and have my privacy but damage my hearing :P

It is quite ironic. Masturbation is natural, healthy (blah blah, if you are reading this then I'm sure you are aware of all that). It is as common as breathing of blinking, yet why am I concerned if people find out. I have no idea. The mere fact I post to this every week with a few thoughts and experiences shows that I have no major problem with people knowing something about me. I think it's the anonymity of the internet. In my off line life, people would call me a prude. I've always been that way, quiet, held back and not the type of person you would expect who writes about wanking. But the anonymity this affords me allows me to write what I don't feel able to speak about. But that's my little pondering for the week.

As always comment it up. Been nabbed yourself? Hell, do you like being caught, the feeling of the chase? Leave some comments.

9 comments:

prostabator said...

Only twice, that I can recall...
Anyways, both times were pretty embarrassing. First my Mom caught me, but it was dark in the room, so I don't think she actually saw anything happen. Just know she knew, by the way I hurridly yanked the covers up around my neck!
The other time was when I was married. My ex-wife caught me in the walk-in closet, having a quickie. I really wouldnt have minded my ex catching me so much, if she had'nt taken as a form of rejection towards her vagina...hell, she was screwed up from childhood, but thats another story.
Now a days, since the closet incident, I take pretty good precaution not to get caught...but must admit, doing it in places where you could be caught seems very exciting. Like a top a building at 3:30 a.m. where anybody in the whole world could see, if only it were daylight out. Or, right out in broad daylight on a 10x10 foot cement slab, located just low enough so that no one on level ground can see. That is unless they happen to drive up on your location, but even then you'd have time to stop, cover up the goodies, and say, hey, wonderful sunshine today...is'nt it? Like you're a nude sunbather or the like...I really get a great high off of playing with my cock while I drive. Just hope I never get caught...that'd be real embarrassing. Especially if I actually achieved orgasm...which I have done a time or two...but still prefer to be parked when I cum, it's just more enjoyable. Now, I'm just rambling, but getting caught by the right person could be very rewarding. Like say you have a normal, very open minded partner, who doesn't get mad if she finds you getting jiggy with it, but rather joins in with you to enhance your pleasure. Maybe she licks your balls or asshole while you wank away-finally spewing your goo all over her smiling face. Oh well, one can always dream...

Linda said...

I once accidentally caught a couple undressing to make love in the middle of Tilden Park. I was aroused, and also sad, because I believed back then that I'd never find a lover. I still wonder if I will ever make love again. I love masturbation. I've never been caught at it.

Horny Old Guy said...

Two embarrassing incidents remain vivid in my memory over 50 years later (really!). I was about 13 or 14, sitting naked on the toilet having my nightly before shower jacking off session and suddenly the door opened and my younger sister (12 or 13) started to come in. I forgot to lock the fucking door! I jumped up to close the door on her but no way I could cover up my big boner. I'll never forget the look of shock on her face. She hadn't seen my penis since it was just a little weenie and this was the innocent 1950's with no porn anywhere in sight (that we had access anyway). I think big brother's big hard and hairy dick came as quite of a surprise to her innocent young eyes! I was afraid she would make jokes or rude comments in front of other family members but she never said a thing and needless to say I double checked that bathroom door lock from then on!

My mom caught me a year or so later. I was just starting my morning jack off in bed and mom came in to tell me to get up for breakfast. I was trying to make it a quickie but mom got impatient and came in and pulled back the covers on me. My hand was still wrapped around my hard cock. She looked a bit surprised too but just shook her head and threw back the covers and told me to hurry up or I'd be late for school. She was giving me some amused looks at breakfast and for the next couple of days but never said a word about it. Mom was pretty cool.

I've been caught several times since by girlfriends and two ex wives but since I readily admitted that masturbation was my "hobby" whether in or out of a relationship it was no big deal. Those two teenage times were embarrassing beyond belief at the time though!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

i have been caught so many times. most memorable was on holiday when i was 16. my sister, who was 20 at the time came out the shower just as i was comin. she saw me blow my load all over myself and i had to clean up afterwards in front of her. she never said a thing about it but i remember her standing there topless watching for about 30 seconds as it all happened. sadly i guess it can technically be said that i climaxed while lookin at my sisters tits. my mum has also caught me wankin a few times but just made a joke about it. i was young at the time.

Anonymous said...

ive never been caught, but because im only 13, i live with mii parents, nnd i luv 2 leave mii door open nnd start to masturbate, nnd whenever i hear someone coming upstares, i start to go faster nnd i only stop when they are seconds away, i love the feeling, and if i keep going after they are gone, i have the best orgasms.

julian blake said...

My mum caught me masturbating when she came into my bedroom to wake me up to go to school. She saw me just at the moment I was blowing my load. I quickly covered myself up but she obviously saw me. She didn't say anything about it - she just smiiled and said 'It''s time to get up and get washed for school." She'd never mentioned 'washing' before.

Anonymous said...

When I was 16, I had just gotten out of bed and walked to the bathroom with a raging case of morning wood.

She and my step dad had been fucking like animals that previous night. I had jerked off once while listening to her moans and the slapping flesh from the hallway.

I had found a pair of her panties in the hamper. I sniffed them and thought of her sounds. Thinking about it made me hard again.

I took matters into my own hands and tried to resolve the issue so I could pee. I sat down and wrapped my hand around it tightly.

My mother walked into the bathroom as I was just reaching a good, solid rhythm. She was wearing a tight little blue nighty with lace trim. Her ample bossom peeked over the top. Her legs were completely bare. She was wearing no panties.

She looked at me, faked being shocked, then said, "Hurry up, I have to pee." she walked over to the sink and leaned on her hand.

I didn't know what the hell to do. But then she just stood there tapping her foot and watching me.

I don't know if it was the fact that she was watching or not, but My heart raced as I soon let out with a large release, right there at her feet.

She didn't say a word as she threw me a towel for the mess and said, "now move."

I stood at the door, cock still in hand and listened to her pissing. The heat of my passion and embarrasment wearing off.

She has never spoken of it again, but to this day, I can remember her face and her body from that morning.

I use the memory to get off sometimes. I'm 36 now and have even thought of her while humping the wife.

So, for me, that one jerking incident has led to a deeper obsession. I'll never tell her of it. But it feels good to get it out.

Am-ehx said...

hyya
i have never been cought, but im only 14 so theres plenty of tiime lol.

i think my mum has an idea when im doing it tho from the moaning comeing from my bedroom lol =]xx