Busted!

When you share the space you live in, it is inevitable that you might be caught. When I was growing up I was ever mindful of the fact and went into almost James Bond mode before a wank. Looking back at it, I don't think my parents would have really cared if they caught me, we are not religious or anything, but I still didn't really like the idea. Even if they caught me nowadays I still don't think they would care. Probably a bit of embarrassment from both of us and then the way everything is handled in our family: it is never brought up again.

However, just because I have never been caught (as in trousers at my ankles, hand on my dick, porn all over the place) doesn't mean I haven't had my share of close calls.

But first a little history.

Back when I started my masturbation career, I was having a jerk whenever possible. This soon became quite unwieldly, it looks pretty suspicious going to the toilet all those times and taking a longer than usual time in there. Looking back it was so obvious!

For a while I blew my load in a handkerchief which I kept separated from everything else. I don't know how, but one day it sort of got in the wash and afterwards came back to my room not so soft and fluffy as handkerchiefs usually are after a wash. Again, so fucking obvious I should have been hit over the head!

Then I wisened up. No more overt signs. I converted to using tissues or toilet paper. I would keep an ear out. I think military commanders would have been impressed with the steps I undertook to allow for my plausible deniability. "Yes, that's right, I need this box of tissues because I have a runny nose, sniff sniff". Looking back, it was pretty weak as well, but it was a lot better.

But there have been a few close calls over the years.

Something that has happened too many times has been mid way through a wank and I hear someone come home. Then the mad dash to hide the porn, zip up and make it look as though I had not just been intruded upon.

Taking that to the next extreme was hearing someone come home just as I was ejaculating. Even more of a mad rush. Have to clean up, and do all that other crap.

While sharing computers in this house, the hiding of porn was an impossible task. People searching for "*.jpg" because they could not remember the file name. "*.mpg" because they misplaced that funny video they downloaded. That fucking sucked the big one. With individual computers now in the house, this problem has disappeared. And thank god for that, porn is awesome.

Owing to the general lack of standards with those short 15-20 second movie clips on the internet, the sound can vary a huge degree. From almost 100% volume to get a whisper, to where you can hear it so clearly with the volume real low. A few situations of;

ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhh....OHH OHH OHHHHHH

have gone by. Thankfully I managed to obtain better porn or just use headphones and have my privacy but damage my hearing :P

It is quite ironic. Masturbation is natural, healthy (blah blah, if you are reading this then I'm sure you are aware of all that). It is as common as breathing of blinking, yet why am I concerned if people find out. I have no idea. The mere fact I post to this every week with a few thoughts and experiences shows that I have no major problem with people knowing something about me. I think it's the anonymity of the internet. In my off line life, people would call me a prude. I've always been that way, quiet, held back and not the type of person you would expect who writes about wanking. But the anonymity this affords me allows me to write what I don't feel able to speak about. But that's my little pondering for the week.

As always comment it up. Been nabbed yourself? Hell, do you like being caught, the feeling of the chase? Leave some comments.