The results for May

So, May is over and I have some stats to report.

I masturbated a total of 34 times in May. Which is my second best month, only beaten by February with it's mammoth 47.

As I originally stated way back when (although it probably wasn't as clear), I am interested to see if I get a chance to masturbate more when one of my parents is out of the country. I usually have a problem when both are back because one stays up for ages in front of the TV, and I have a lot less privacy.

So, the breakdown for May;

The traveling parent spent 8 days in the country, and 23 days not in the country

Times masturbated whilst in country: 7
Times masturbated whilst not in country: 27

This brings me up to a total of 170 times this year. The percentages are also quite staggering;

% in country: 27.6%
% not in country: 72.4%

It is the 151st day of the year bringing me to 1.13 times / day.

My best day was 4 times.

Now onto June, and the traveling parent is back now, so the first part of this month could be a pretty poor showing! :(

Wrong Place, Wrong Time.

I'm sure all of us have had the urge at some time in our lives to whip it out (or whip it in I guess for the female readers), at a completely inappropriate time. And it sucks. Because conversely, every now and then the conditions are perfect, with no one around, some fresh porn and, you just cannot get in the mood.

The stand out example I have is in high school. I was delivering a speech about the Russian revolution, and one of the hottest girls in my class leant over to pick her pen up. This left me with an unhindered view of her very ample cleavage. Oh so many times during my high school life had I dreamt of blowing a load all over those wondrous tits. But alas, there were 25 people and a teacher awaiting my research on Rasputin. Luckily for me, I have always been able to stroll through oral presentations, so I managed to salvage the situation (and my grade).

I have always liked women in business outfits. There is just something about that clean, crisp suit holding in a total devil. Of course a lot of the time the super tight skirt does help to amplify this. A nicely rounded ass is always a sight for sore eyes, which is what you see in plentiful supply. So riding home from the CBD in peak hour on a bus is a test of my endurance and patience. The bus itself does not help, with the rocking and swaying and shuddering. All things combine to stimulate my dick. As much as I want to, I cannot rub one out on the way home. This has the unfortunate effect of making it rather difficult and uncomfortable to stand up and move towards the door when it is time to get off the bus.

The problem with watching a lot of porn is that the faces start to burn themselves into your brain. Pretty soon I will see someone and instead of thinking that she is pretty, hot, sexy or whatever, I translate. I'll think, "hmm, she looks like Jill Kelly". Of course I will probably never see the actual person I am looking at, but in my head I have already see everything she does and will do (if that made any sense at all!). My penis is far less cerebral and immediately springs to attention, but alas no stroking there either.

However, it is not all a lost cause. If I am able to store those thoughts (and believe me, the girl with the tits in my class is burnt in there), they provide very much appreciated masturbation fuel when I am in the right place at the right time.

There are of course times when the deed just must be done. The pressure is just too much, and my brain is dedicated to feeding my penis blood and thoughts. These wanks are not the best (obviously), but they release the tension, and make me instantly relaxed.

The most memorable of these was during a walk I went for one night around midnight. I was unable to sleep, and also unable to make use of nature's sleeping pill, so I decided to go for a stroll around to tire myself out, and to get my mind off masturbating. It didn't really work. Since there is not a lot to look at, at midnight, my mind kicked in and started to tempt me with the thought of having a stroke. I thought I would try and tough it out and when I got home, I might be able to have a tug. So I walked on further. Then I thought, what if I got home, and I still cannot masturbate? What then? I remembered there was a relatively new public toilet, in a relatively new piece of parkland on the other side of my suburb. So I headed off in that direction, if only to see it.

I got there, and was thoroughly worked up and ready to unload. I checked out the place, seemed fine. 2 huuuuge toilets (the biggest toilets I have ever seen). I walked in, locked the door, sat down on the chair (there were in fact 2 benches in there!), dropped my pants and got to work. I wasn't going to win any awards for endurance on this one, as a few minutes later I was hovering over the bowl and shooting cum all over the place. Luckily all managed to land in the toilet, so a simple flush and I was off.

You ever been ready to go, but at the wrong time?

The Porn Conundrum - Favorites - 3

Of course no porn connoisseur can go past their favorites. I feel everyone has a number of stars who they like regardless. They may not have all the other qualities you look for, but they do possess the 'x' factor which keeps you coming back to them.

Here are some of my favorites.

Alley Baggett

Amber Evans

Briana Banks

Donita Dunes

Jill Kelly

Kyle Cole

Raylene

Summer Cummings

Wifey

Not a conclusive list by any means ;) Who are your favorites?

The Porn Conundrum - Eyes - 2

The next major trait that makes my dick hard and demand attention are the eyes.

I love the piercing gaze that seems to pass through the monitor straight to your eyes. Again it relates to the personality. I once read you can tell who is acting for the camera and who is looking at you, the viewer, simply by their eyes.

It may not be a huge thing, but it heightens the porn viewing if you can think that she is looking at you.



Those lovely eyes...

Sugasm #35

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The Porn Conundrum - Intro - 1

As a frequent porn viewer, I find the porn I want to look at has quite specific requirements. And since it is a fairly pertinent topic for my blog, I figured I'd share. And there will be photos!

The first I would have to say is the smile.

Since it isn't a entirely physical trait (such as big breasts, also a favorite), it is hard for me to understand why I like the smile so much. I think it might come down to the girl in the photo or film having a personality. I have seen far too much porn with some sort of robowhore. I like to see people with a bit of life in them.

Good

Bad

Busted!

When you share the space you live in, it is inevitable that you might be caught. When I was growing up I was ever mindful of the fact and went into almost James Bond mode before a wank. Looking back at it, I don't think my parents would have really cared if they caught me, we are not religious or anything, but I still didn't really like the idea. Even if they caught me nowadays I still don't think they would care. Probably a bit of embarrassment from both of us and then the way everything is handled in our family: it is never brought up again.

However, just because I have never been caught (as in trousers at my ankles, hand on my dick, porn all over the place) doesn't mean I haven't had my share of close calls.

But first a little history.

Back when I started my masturbation career, I was having a jerk whenever possible. This soon became quite unwieldly, it looks pretty suspicious going to the toilet all those times and taking a longer than usual time in there. Looking back it was so obvious!

For a while I blew my load in a handkerchief which I kept separated from everything else. I don't know how, but one day it sort of got in the wash and afterwards came back to my room not so soft and fluffy as handkerchiefs usually are after a wash. Again, so fucking obvious I should have been hit over the head!

Then I wisened up. No more overt signs. I converted to using tissues or toilet paper. I would keep an ear out. I think military commanders would have been impressed with the steps I undertook to allow for my plausible deniability. "Yes, that's right, I need this box of tissues because I have a runny nose, sniff sniff". Looking back, it was pretty weak as well, but it was a lot better.

But there have been a few close calls over the years.

Something that has happened too many times has been mid way through a wank and I hear someone come home. Then the mad dash to hide the porn, zip up and make it look as though I had not just been intruded upon.

Taking that to the next extreme was hearing someone come home just as I was ejaculating. Even more of a mad rush. Have to clean up, and do all that other crap.

While sharing computers in this house, the hiding of porn was an impossible task. People searching for "*.jpg" because they could not remember the file name. "*.mpg" because they misplaced that funny video they downloaded. That fucking sucked the big one. With individual computers now in the house, this problem has disappeared. And thank god for that, porn is awesome.

Owing to the general lack of standards with those short 15-20 second movie clips on the internet, the sound can vary a huge degree. From almost 100% volume to get a whisper, to where you can hear it so clearly with the volume real low. A few situations of;

ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhh....OHH OHH OHHHHHH

have gone by. Thankfully I managed to obtain better porn or just use headphones and have my privacy but damage my hearing :P

It is quite ironic. Masturbation is natural, healthy (blah blah, if you are reading this then I'm sure you are aware of all that). It is as common as breathing of blinking, yet why am I concerned if people find out. I have no idea. The mere fact I post to this every week with a few thoughts and experiences shows that I have no major problem with people knowing something about me. I think it's the anonymity of the internet. In my off line life, people would call me a prude. I've always been that way, quiet, held back and not the type of person you would expect who writes about wanking. But the anonymity this affords me allows me to write what I don't feel able to speak about. But that's my little pondering for the week.

As always comment it up. Been nabbed yourself? Hell, do you like being caught, the feeling of the chase? Leave some comments.

Sugasm #34

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Masturbating while...

I think for many people, they assume that when people masturbate, they are doing that at the exclusion of everything else. For the most part this is probably quite accurate, and in terms of the quality I feel masturbating must be at the exclusivity of everything else. However there are times when I have masturbated while doing something relatively unrelated.

• On hold
• Watching TV
• Homework
• Having trouble sleeping
  

The one that sticks in my mind is on the phone to one particular person. Without giving too many specific details about myself away, a lady who I have to talk to on a semi regular basis really gets my juices flowing and my dick hard. She is not a supermodel, she is not even close to my age (has about 35 years on me, but for her age is attractive), yet something about her drives me nuts. So she pops up in my fantasies often. But the first example of masturbating while doing something else would be while on the phone with her, it is always that husky voice always does it!

I am also not entirely sure that she doesn't do things on purpose. When I have to go and see her in person, there is almost always a low cut top and her extraordinarily perky tits crammed into them. Her ass is not too bad either, and always packaged in some tight fitting jeans. These things do not seem to be present when I make an unexpected stop in. Maybe coincidence, maybe not. But either way, it sure does make the fantasy that much nicer. Many times I have blown a load thinking about tit fucking those beautiful breasts.

Being on hold sucks, I don't know anyone who actually likes the experience. You phone up your bank, or the cable / phone company and are met with the robot voice telling you there will be at least a 15 minute wait. 15 minutes, can't go anywhere, what else is there to do? Whip it out and give it a good jerk I say.

Now watching TV is a bit of a tricky one. Much like the Japanese film of the namesake, the weatherwoman on one of the channels here is hot. Quite plain and simply hot. I swear it is the network's plan to get me to sit through the whole of the news. When I can catch it, I always give her a salute.

Back when I actually had homework to do, it was always a useful way to take a break from the horrors of algebra or geography. However, keeping attention is too hard with this. I found a very strong correlation between when the idea crossed my mind, and when I actually stopped work to have a tug - those answers were often wrong. :P

The final one could be a bit odd, unless you know about it already. I have always thought that masturbation was nature's sleeping pill. After a wank, I feel relaxed, my mind is cleared and slightly dozy. If I put in more effort, say a 30 - 45 minute wank, I feel quite drained afterwards. So when I have a touch of insomnia, I whip it out and have a pull.

As usual my brain has wandered off track and that tell tale sign of a small wet patch on my pants has shown up. Only one way to fix that...

Sugasm #33

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A sticky situation

Perhaps the one huge advantage female masturbators have is the lack of semen after they masturbate. It can be a blessing, or a distinct problem.

For me, the huge payoff after a long and very enjoyable wank is the forceful and well volumed load that is produced. Afterwards, you look down and see a decently sized puddle of warm sticky goo, it is satisfying. There was some distance, and quite a few contractions, it felt great. I've got all the time in the world to catch my breath, grap some toilet paper and clean up. I can then get on with the rest of my day at leisure.

But more often that not, that bastard enemy of the masturbator, "time" is there to thwart your plans. Be it someone else coming home in 20 minutes, or having to be somewhere real soon, it always seems to spring up, just at the time your dick is hard and your mind is preoccupied with the latest Kyla Cole set you downloaded.

So, where can you blow your load, to beat this menace?

The favored, and ultimate quickie is the toilet. No mess, unless you underestimate the force and you plaster the lid with manjam. I have snuck off to the toilet for many quickies. Some notes, you need to be quick, quiet and semi believable. If you have air freshener in there, give it a spray. The shower also fits in here, even easier, but you shower a lot less than you sit on the throne.

A desk is also not a bad place, if you can get a clear enough space. Clean up is easy, but depending on how things are set up might not be the best.

Of course the classic, tissues are fine.

I, very occasionally blow a wad in my underpants, usually when I feel like something a little different. I am sort of paranoid about any smell though, and since my sense of smell is poor I am very unaware of most smells. But the silkiness of cum swirling around your cock is great.

Every now and then, I'll print off a picture of whatever porn star has really caught my eye, and ejaculate all over that.

One must also not forget the oral option: eating it. I have only tried my cum once, and I can't say I was over the moon about it, but I'm sure someone out there loves the idea and it just extends the fun.

I cannot speak for females, but a friend once told me after having a few too many that she was able to stimulate her clit just by crossing her legs and moving them a bit, and used to pass the time home on the bus a lot more enjoyably. It makes me envious it does!

But by far and away, the best is all over your chest. Feeling the warm splatter of semen, the pool forming, the remnant drops slide away, it's allll good. If situations are right, it can be nice to just have a nap like that, naked and free. When you wake up the cum has dried, the refactory period is over (that bloody thing!), so you may as well have another crack at it ;)

The latest.

Well, my cold has returned again, I just cannot seem to shake it. As a result, I haven't kept up with the entries as I should have, but I do have an idea for the next essay / piece, which I should hopefully have in for the next sugasm issue.

So, I originally started this to publish the logs I have been making of my masturbation.

April was quite frankly piss weak.

The total for the month was 26
With the other person here: 23
Without: 3

May has started ok, but being sick and burdened by assignments has left me with little spare time, and late nights.

However, the assignments look like they are coming to an end, and the cold is clearing. I usually go out on Sunday night, and then on Monday it has freshened up, so no going out this Sunday. But, the better news is that Sunday afternoon, the person I refer to in my stats is leaving. So, the frequency should pick up a bit, maybe May can compensate for April's lackluster performance.

Sugasm #32

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