Monday, September 11, 2006

Why do I masturbate?

For me, masturbation is not just a form of release. I know many people see it as something you do when you are after some quick nourishment, like eating a burger. There are alternatives, better alternatives, but there is always the burger to fall back on if all else fails. I don't particularly like this view.

It fails to take into account the people who have problems with self - esteem and confidence. This is me.

In a few weeks, I have a birthday. That will be all those years without ever being on a date, being a virgin and always fighting a battle with yourself in your head.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not in any sort of position to do any harm. I am doing well at pretty much everything else in life. University is going great, I start post - graduate studies next year, I have a stable life, modest but adequate employment, a social life and many friends.

As any breathing male, I have had sex on the mind since the second I hit puberty. I was a lot more caught up in my own world during school, and as such I never had much of a chance to get to know anyone of the female persuasion. I also was not the most disciplined of eaters, and put on heaps of weight. I don't wish to blame anyone for that,

So, where does masturbation fit in?

After one of many sex-ed classes, we had to read some text book. I hit upon the page on masturbation, and read it over and over and over. I could, for the most part, experience sex without the seemingly huge task of getting a partner.

In the start, it was all about release. And the thrill of it all. Also, until that point, I had seen the body as more or less a toolbox. You have a bunch of stuff, it does important things, it isn't terribly exciting. My penis was something to urinate out of, and have the hassle of cleaning.

Fast forward a few years. I soon found that right after ejaculating, everything sort of worked itself out.
  • The constant doubting myself stopped
  • I felt genuinely happy
  • I felt calm
  • I felt willing to speak to people
  • I felt like my problems, (either mental or related to school / life), even though they presented challenges, could be overcome.
  • I could sleep. My mind goes flat out with random thoughts all day, that falling asleep can be problematic.
Aside from the pleasure, which is always enjoyable, they are reasons I masturbate.

Where does this blog fit in?

I am an introvert. I always have been, and I always will be. I have read that many introverts feel like they are acting when in public. That is the situation for me, and on top of that I did acting classes for over a decade. I have no problems in doing a presentation to 200 people, going my own eccentric way through public or anything else that requires confidence. But, ask me about sex, and I get squeamish. The problem is, I do have a few thoughts about it, but I could never get the courage to actually say them. This is a great chance for me to have my say.

So, what does the future hold? I can only guess ;)

I am still, slowly but surely losing the excess weight. I exercise every day for around a minimum of 1 hour. I have dropped so much that when I see myself in photos from a few years ago, I cannot believe it is me. But, you never really notice it yourself, you see yourself every day.

I don't doubt that I will meet someone, one day. But I will keep on masturbating until I can not. It is one of the few times, when things fall into place, fit together and make sense. You could argue a connection to a deity, not being religious, I would say masturbation is nature's own demister for the mind.

After reading that back, it sounds a little morbid and depressing. I'd like to say, that wasn't my intention. I am on the whole quite an upbeat sort of person, but I hide much of what I have said, under many layers.

So please, rub one out and see clearly :)

18 comments:

fred said...

Over at MasterJerker – The object of my masturbation – 1, I describe losing my virginity. I left out the part that I had made it all the way to graduate school at the time. For a while it seemed that I’d never have sex with a girl. When I finally did it was great, but I’ve had to fill in myself quite often. Even now most of my orgasms are self-induced.

Anonymous said...

Wanklogger, it turns out your blog is about so much more than masturbation. You are a truly positive person and you are absolutely right that things will improve and your aspirations will be met.

Take it from someone that was pretty much in the same place you are years ago. I've not only had tons of sex, but made true friends in my ex-es and met wonderful people. It's clear by your writing that you got the hardest part already done, the part that 99% of people forget doing, introspecting and knowing yourself.

Your post wasn't depressing to me, quite the opposite actually...

Anonymous said...

Masturbation? Where is the problem?
Any1 do it!
I masturbate even when I have a girlfriend (no1 in this period: so I masturbate A LOT!!! 3 or 4 times a day!!)
Don't think too much: in Italy we have a saying: "Il cazzo non vuole pensieri!" (dick doesn't want troubles) & it's true!!

Addams

Anonymous said...

Nice blog idea! You seem to have a very positive attitude about it all, which is refreshing. I agree that masturbation is not just a sexual release, and actually I find it to be very unsatisfying if I'm trying to make it substitute for sex. Not that I have to try at the moment, since I do have satisfying sex 1 or 2 times a week with my wife, and that's plenty. Masturbation is really a different kind of pleasure, satisfying on its own terms. Mainly, you can concentrate more on your own needs and wild fantasies, rather than concentrating on how to pleasure the other person. I really think of it as "sex with myself," and set aside ample time to do it properly a couple days each week, when I know I'll have the privacy.

Anonymous said...

Hi Wanklogger!
Did U stop wanking??
I can't believe it!!

Have a nice Sunday!!

Addams

wanklogger said...

Thank you for the encouraging words. I was hoping it wasn't too depressing, but I seem to have trouble determining emotion and tone.

Thank you :)

wanklogger said...

No, no Addams. Still wanking away :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. I read sex-blogs not because I'm adicted to sex (though I might be, I masterbate a lot too...). I'm adicted to openness and honesty on the personal level. Thanks for giving me my high! :)

-riversmoke

anonymous said...

Masturbation is cool...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

This is really a great idea and I understand where you're coming from. I finally understand now why I'm addictted

Anonymous said...

its okay to masturbate,, but know ur limitations... i always think of Colin Farrel, Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, jessie metcalfe, and many to mention when i do it.................... yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

jangas said...

yes masturbation is a great extra curricular activity its one way of expressing our desires. but somehow we become addicted with it. it is like that you are addicted with alcohol. its very hard to let go. i am not happy of doing masturbation but i love to do it. the reason is i am addicted with masturbation. its very hard to let. once i dont want to do it ..i cant.. i really wanted to change the reason is i want to have a new life in accordance with God i join ministry and masturbation is not allowed actually. my God is holy and his holiness is imparted with me, i am bought at price... then who am i not to obey him.. and now its a big problem with me in dealing with this kind of situation . a lot of temptation and its very hard to overcome..anyone can help me and give advice.

James said...

I masturbate as much as I can over Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Moore, Christina Aguilera, Anna Faris {oh God - here I go again ooh!!}.

Anonymous said...

i dont really know why i masturbate
but i think its cz it feels good
and
sure
i have a girlfriend and shes the best
but i question my loyalty to her
and i question my religious connections with god
and really
its not very good
i want to stop..

Anonymous said...

personally i am 45 in good shape and married, I have been masturbating since i discover it back when i was 12, i have often masturbated after sex, and now at this age some times i masturbate 3 time a day, i like to get off and it feels great everytime, there is no shame everybody does it and for some people it keeps them outta trouble. xtube is a good place to watch videos and masturbate..lol masturbate, masturbate, have sex or masturbate, or masturbate and then have sex, eightherway is good for you and for your Private!
by, marky860 :-D

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