Monday, March 10, 2008

The Hospital

Being stuck in hospital is not a lot of fun. I've never really blanked out before, but last week I did just that. I can remember chatting on the phone and then waking up in a hospital. Apparently in between those two things I lost my balance and fell, banging my head against something, knocking me out cold.

This was mid-morning and I came around by about noon. I was subsequently poked, prodded, inspected, analyzed and told that I would need to stay the night for observation. I guess they wanted to see if I would give them something to poke, prod, inspect and analyze tomorrow. My worried parent paid a visit and dropped off some clothes. How about something to fucking read?!

In the mean time I had to occupy myself. I've only ever been in hospital for specific things. So I am turfed out when I'm done. It never occurred to me, just how fucking boring hospitals really are. If I was allowed to go for a wander around the place that would have been better but the senior nurse put an end to that great idea. Could I go to the exercise room at least? Nope, not a chance. The idea of travelling that whole level in the elevator had the senior nurse close to hysterics.

My insurance only covers a shared room, which you'd think would give you someone to talk to. My room mate a) wasn't there much, b) was mostly deaf and c) I can't sign.

So I just sat there. Bored, and horny. The shared room had the divider curtain. Essentially, I was ready. But the nurses would pop in every so often to look at the gizmo hooked up to me that beeped every now and then. Now porn would have me believe that the floor's worth of nurses was just gagging to help me out. But porn is deceptive that way.

I'd never jerked off in a hospital before and all things considered I'd like to have very few opportunities to do so. I knew the frequency of nurse visits slows a bit during the evening, and the shift change is around dinner time.

I guess if I banged my head harder I'd get a sponge bath, but no. I got to shower myself. I got my food, I ate my food and sat there. I was planning this wank tonight with meticulous detail. I'd wait until rounds, sometime after that the lights would be changed to the much calmer night lighting as the hospital settled down for an evening of beeping and sleeping. After that, I'd give it 15-30 minutes and do my worst.

The thought of it all made me quite excited and I tucked my erection into the right leg of my boxer shorts. Under the blankets I ran my hand along the length of my cock through the material of my boxers.

At about 7pm the night nurse assigned to me showed up for rounds. She made the required notes and took my temperature. She was most pleased with my recovery and it was basically guaranteed I'd be on my way in the morning. Then she wanted to dress the cut I had got on my head. I sat up in bed to make it easier but she pulled the covers back and said it would be easier if I were in the chair.


So far I had managed to hide my full erection, but moving is the killer. If I stand up and it remains lodged in the right leg of my shorts, it looks retarded (and draws attention). If I stand up and it breaks free, it just draws attention. Either way attention will be drawn.

I gingerly got out of bed and move to the chair. The inevitable happened and my cock slipped out of the right leg and shot straight out from me. But the nurse is still fussing with the bandages and stuff, so I might be able to get myself seated and hide the evidence, but no. The nurse turns around and just says "oh".

She walks over with all the bits needed to dress a head wound and moves the swivel table around. Both giving her a place to put bandages and for me to try and hide. It is just not going to happen though. She is very attractive, brown hair cut to shoulder length, nice smile, breasts (no idea how to describe other than not huge and not tiny). She smells nice and is the first person I've had a conversation with for most of the day.

I can feel the pre-cum eeking along and dribbling out, I'm just hoping that it is being caught by something that isn't the front of my boxer shorts.

My wound is dressed and it's time I hopped back into bed. Owing to the location of the bump on my head I am looking down the whole time. She swings the swivel table back and I see a nice wet, embarrassing spot on the front of my shorts. The nurse sees it too.

Nurse: "Why don't you get back into bed"
Me: "Yeah"
Nurse: "Everything OK? Pain? Hungry? Thirsty?"
Me: "Everything is fine"
Nurse: "Sleep well. I'll check on you around 2am...I'll leave you two alone"

Yeah, thanks for reminding me. But on the other hand, she has given me a rather specific time in which I will be walked in on. The other nurses in the day just said "later".

Thankfully the hospital gives everyone a box of tissues within grabbing range, so the cleanup would be a cinch. I waited 15 minutes and whipped my boxer shorts off. I pushed the covers down a ways for access and so I didn't get too hot there. Stroking away I fantasized mainly about the nurse, but I didn't need much, I had been feeling antsy for a big slice of the day so I was pumping cum over my chest in only a few minutes.

I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who is a nurse or works in a hospital and can tell me just what the procedure is with an "excited" patient. I figure it would be to ignore, but curiosity has got the better of me.


Anonymous said...

Tasman says:

I was in a similar situation except that I was in a room alone & my wound was close to the groin.

The best nurse (a bikie type) was shacked-up with a guy that I used to work with. I was on a high recovering from the sedation & didn't really care whether the raging horn was seen or not. In fact, I wanted this particular nurse to see it so that she could tell her partner!

When she came to change the dressing, my knob stood up like a flag pole. She lifted my gown & my still-naked groin was exposed.

I beged her to relieve me & she didn't disappoint. The excitement of it all resulted in a four stroke wank! The cum was collected on a towel. She changed my dressing with a smile & I knew that she would have to finger herself at the first opportunity.

She was present when my partner came to collect me. She just smiled.

When I got home, I related the events to my partner as I slowly wanked her clit to a volcanic orgasm. All the time, I was thinking of the nurse telling her partner & relieving his load.

It's easy to make three / four people happy if you try!

Anonymous said...


I think you have a nice little unique blog going on...but don't you get tired of comments like this one before me here? I mean, Tasman's story is obviously so far from the truth...jen

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this one, Tasman.
(Jen has no right to doubt your story.)
A similar thing has happened to me when I was hospitalised. It's a service usually reserved for private patients!

ShatteredSoul said...

First I have a question, why not just do it in the shower where its HIGHLY unlikely you would be bothered.

Second, I hope everything with you is okay. Did they say anything about WHY you black outed in the first place?

wanklogger said...

Tasman: I can't say the bikie type does much for me. But if such a situation came around in hospital I would reconsider my stance. That is certainly a lot of joy out of one event :)

Jen: Thanks for reading. I am *very* inexperienced in this facet of life, so I really couldn't say. I find the people who leave comments asking me why I write about this topic more peculiar. If they are not at all interested, why on earth continue reading? It's like the people who watch a TV show they find offensive each week, just so they can lodge a complaint.

shatteredsoul: The shower would have been safer, but where's the thrill? In all honesty, I didn't think of the shower. I'm fine now, no lasting damage. From what I've gathered from the person who called the Ambulance I stepped on some unstable ground, lost my footing and fell over, knocking my head on the way. The doctors feel there was nothing concerning from the whole thing (apart from my clumsiness :P), so I was on my way.