Eloquent Eroticism

I firmly believe that language is the greatest accomplishment of the human species. It can be used for good or evil. With appropriate context something could be the most vile of put downs, or the peak of eroticism.

Unfortunately for me, most of the words I hear are negative. I'm sure all kids during high school remember the dread of the report card. It is worse when your parents have high expectations, and once you have met them, you have to keep on meeting them. If you have an overly critical boss, or one that just does not like you, almost everything from their mouth is like a knife through your confidence. My point is, that after a while you begin to see negatives in everything. The rare compliment is seen as a snide attack, the helpful advice is seen as a screaming rant.

Where does that leave me? Where I just described.

For years, I had shoes that were hard to fill, and a mindset that everything I did was going to be criticized mercilessly. After a while, your brain seems to rewire itself, it becomes natural to expect spite. If you have an inward personality such as myself, you give up.

You know what? That is one of the most liberating things in the world.

About 8 or so years ago, I did just that - I gave up. If people didn't like my view on this, too bad. If they couldn't stand the shirt I was wearing? Get stuffed. Old hangups still exist, slowly, but surely you can get past them. Things I do are still critized, but so what?

Of course a new raft of problems emerges, not everything can be solved using firm skeptical logic. In my area of expertise, everything can and a lot of times, should be done that way. However, not everything should be solved using that form of thought.

For a while now, I have been talking to someone. Someone who 8 years ago I would have passed by without a second thought. I would have assumed sinister intentions and gone on my merry way. This individual has been one of very few people to pay an actual compliment. Not one of those forced, said-because-it's-automatic compliments, an actual compliment. So odd is this to me that I am unsure what to do.

I thank this person and am pleased they have scared the shit out of me at times, for now I have finally seen the best side of language.