Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Unwelcome Erection

As any owner of a penis will tell you, sometimes it just has a mind of its own. Sometimes it springs to life at the most inopportune times. The films we watched in sex ed classes mentioned this, but never seemed to have quite the same level of inconvenience as the real world.

The one I can remember from the films was some chap working backstage, up in the rafters of an auditorium, with the lights. The voice over guy declared "Sometimes puberty plays tricks on you, like Jim is experiencing here. This is the "unwelcome erection"". I guess our school wasn't so fussed with the abstinence push.

So, I figured I had this puberty/unexpected erection thing licked, there would be no problems at all. Besides, you only got wood when out of sight, so what was the big deal? It seemed to me they were unwelcome because they were at times you couldn't have a tug, like Jim up in the rafters.

Oh how wrong those stupid films were.

The short list of unwelcome erections I can remember.

...being yelled at by my year 6 teacher (who is still working at the school and is hot)
...back of the police car the time I got arrested
...my high school graduation

It might be stating the bleeding obvious, but why those times? What part of my brain leapt into action and thought, "now would be the best time to divert blood to the wang"? At the time I wasn't particularly attracted to my teacher. When I was arrested, I was furious, and I couldn't wait for my high school graduation to be over.

Nowadays, all the fun of the unwelcome erection is largely over. It stays dormant most of the day, except when needed.

However, when I was watching that film all those years ago, I wondered if there was the welcome erection, at an opportune time. I recall an event while studying for my final high school exams.

I was studying away at Physics, the laws of thermodynamics guaranteeing my penis remaining in its slumber. I hit my mid afternoon break and left the room to stretch my legs, read the paper, in fact, do anything else. The familiar event of puberty struck as I walked outside to get some fresh air. Normally, I would have ignored it, but the unwelcome erection suddenly becomes welcome, and at a good time. Standing out in the garden, why not?

Maybe it is the brain's way of taking your mind off other things? Or maybe it was just coincidence. Either way, it is a double edged sword the unwelcome erection is rare nowadays. On the one hand, no awkwardness, on the other, no not-so-subtle suggestions from the nether regions.

11 comments:

Chris said...

Lol. Oh this made me laugh! Not having a penis, I have never experienced an unwelcome erection. But I can say that I have been wet, saturated, tingling at inconvenient, yet no one can see mine. It's all in my mind and tucked between my legs.

tasman said...

Erections should be welcomed at all times. (Life is too short.) A few years ago I was waiting for a nurse to change a dressing in my groin area. I could hear her just next door & my manhood was standing to attention. I was thinking why I needed an excuse as it's a perfectly normal part of life. In any case, I wanted to see her face & her reaction. My arousal increased to the point of having a trace of the best emerging from my eyehole. Her only comment was that she thought I needed to do something to relieve myself once she had left! With this thought still in my mind, even today, I find myself tugging frantically - just as the nurse would have done in any other situation.

Richard said...

I can see how they can be inconvenient at times, but so is desire. Never found it to be a problem - kinda fun to imagine that you never know when the mood strikes, but that you'll be ready for it!

Mrs Mills said...

It was 1960 & I was a 26 year old mother of two girls. I was happily married but needed more fun. We lived in a terraced house where the view from the upstairs windows was directly into the neighbours opposite. The 12 year old boy that played with my daughters had the bedroom in direct line of sight. At bedtime, I would leave the light on & the curtains open while I put on a show especially for him. It was a big turn-on to think that he was wanking over me.
One afternoon I arrived home to find both of my girls sitting on the front step with their legs open. The boy was with them but I hadn't been seen. I stood silently & watched the boy teaching them how to finger themselves through their cotton knickers while he busily played with his rock hard cock. I was too embarrassed to say anything but waited the moment to get my pleasure.
A few days later I was alone when the boy arrived to play with my girls. He knocked on the door & I called him in. We didn't have a bathroom & that's why I was busy washing my hair at the kitchen sink. I was stripped down to my bra & underskirt & I could see the boy watching my every move. When I'd finished my hair, I sat on a stool & started to cut my toe nails with my legs slightly apart. Then I just couldn't help myself asking the boy what he was doing with my daughters the other day. He was shy but I told him that he had nothing to fear & invited him to come closer. I drew him towards me & asked him if he would like to see inside my bra. He nodded so I removed it slowly giving him a close-up view of my hard, brown nipples. I directed my right tit towards his lips. In return, he licked the nipple & sucked like a baby half expecting milk.
As I got more daring, I placed his hand inside my undies. I let his warm fingers enter my hairy hole & in an instant I had an incredible orgasm. The boy was frightened. He didn't understand what had happened. All I know is that he would have had a good wank that night!

(The moral is: if it's hapenning, just let it happen.)

tasman said...

Mrs Mills, you should have been a guy! Your better instinct enabled you to continue doing what you knew was wrong. It was a gamble which could have had serious consequences but that was the thrill.

As wankers, we all find it hard to back-off once on the gravy stroke. It is best in private, but, on ccasions, it is a thrill to be caught in action.

My patner loves to catch me at it. We have a great relationship where we take turns to wank in front of each other. She admits that wanking the puss is just as good as penetration. She also admits that watching me pull is a big turn on. She would love to be in the next door neighbours arms while I'm behind the door jerking my thistle. (To her & myself, this is the ultimate - & it will happen!)

What do you think W.L.?

wanklogger said...

Tasman: That is a great story! I haven't been in hospital a great deal. Once due to an over worried parent and another for minor surgery. After I emerged from slumber, I felt an overwhelming urge to pee. Apparently they put a few litres of saline solution into me. Unfortunately, the nurse gave me plenty of time and I was so groggy I probably wouldn't have been able to even get an erection.

I do agree with your sentiment, however I was rather hamstrung when handcuffed in the back of a police car to make use.

Mrs. Mills: Why couldn't I have grown up in your neighborhood! Do you have pictures of yourself? ;)

Tasman: I prefer private, but I too like the occasional risk. I agree, once underway, the little guy in your head who regulates logic tends to be drowned out by the other little guy screaming at you to keep on going.

If/when I have a partner, I would like mutual masturbation. My next visit to the brothel, I am going to ask the lady if she can finger herself (fuck knows, I probably ain't doing much for her anyway!)

tasman said...

You went quiet for a while. Good to hear from you.
My partner & I are mature enough to relate our fantasies during sex.
She loves it when I diddle her doodle & tell her which of our friends (male or female) I want her to have. She reciprocates by telling me that I can have her best friend. It gets quite steamy. She always orgasms & I shoot a load over her magnificent breast or into her sopping quim. We are a right pair of wankers & proud of it!

numbnuts said...

You must have been a cracker in your day, Mrs Mills. Since reading your bit, I've had to relieve myself of a load or two. That poor boy. (Lucky you.)

As a boy of 12 my mum taught me to wank. She was afraid that my foreskin would not retract. For that reason, she told me to pull it backwards & forwards when I was in the bath.

I became to like the feeling & it wasn't long before I was sowing my seed into the water. As you all know, semen tends to float in a sticky mess. My Mum looked most pleased when she saw my first effort.

Not long after, I caught Dad giving her one in the garden shed. I remained silent while I peeped through a crack in the wall. She was groaning, he was lapping & slapping like there was no tomorrow. I took myself in hand & walked right in on them. Dad saw me but he was too far gone & carried on regardless. I did the same. Mum begged us both to stop but it was too late.

In hindsight, it could have been called as One Behind & One Assist.

numbnuts said...

You must have been a cracker in your day, Mrs Mills. Since reading your bit, I've had to relieve myself of a load or two. That poor boy. (Lucky you.)

As a boy of 12 my mum taught me to wank. She was afraid that my foreskin would not retract. For that reason, she told me to pull it backwards & forwards when I was in the bath.

I became to like the feeling & it wasn't long before I was sowing my seed into the water. As you all know, semen tends to float in a sticky mess. My Mum looked most pleased when she saw my first effort.

Not long after, I caught Dad giving her one in the garden shed. I remained silent while I peeped through a crack in the wall. She was groaning, he was lapping & slapping like there was no tomorrow. I took myself in hand & walked right in on them. Dad saw me but he was too far gone & carried on regardless. I did the same. Mum begged us both to stop but it was too late.

In hindsight, it could have been called as One Behind & One Assist.

Hristo said...

I was raised as an orphan by a gypsy family in Eastern Europe. The family was poor & it was common practice for the children to drink from the breasts of any lactating women in our group.
I remember that this was when my prick became hard for the first time.
There was one woman in particular. She favoured me & offered me milk whenever I saw her. She had large, olive nipples with goosepimples around the outside. It wasn't so much the milk I craved for but to have the hard, wet nipple in between my lips.
One day I plucked-up the courage to ask her if I could see her naked & she led me to a room at the back of her house. She asked me to take off my clothes so that she could see my manhood. My heart raced even more when she removed her top & her tight fitting skirt.
She let her jet black hair fall over her breasts. Her legs were perfect with a black beard-like tuft between them.
I began to wank my cock while she encouraged me. Her legs slowly opened revealing a glistening gem which I could only liken to a slug or snail.
Beads of milk drizzled from her nipples. Beads of spunk shot from my cock.
How can I ever forget my first wank.

Anonymous said...

I AM 12 AND WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT TREATMENT FROM MRS MILLS.